Uber wants to be the Vegas of gay weddings, only even faster

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In their frantic desire to be first with the next big thing and to grab market share by any means necessary, tech companies often act before really thinking through the implications of their ideas. And with its latest idea — facilitating on-the-spot weddings during Pride weekend — rideshare company Uber has finally jumped the shark.

“We’re thankful to be based in San Francisco, a city that recognizes love doesn’t have to look any certain way. In honor of Pride week, we’re celebrating the inclusive idea that love is love with something that lasts a lifetime,” Uber wrote on its blog today in announcing “on-demand weddings.”

That’s right, this Saturday between noon and 6pm, customers using its app can select “UberWEDDING,” the company will send a crew out to marry you and your sweetie on the spot, promising that you’ll be hitched within an hour -- or well before your Pride buzz wears off and you regain your senses.

“When your UberWEDDING arrives, we’ll get started right away. You’ll first work with our on-site notary to obtain your marriage license. Once the license is official, the violinist will begin to play and the ceremony will commence!” the company wrote.

So in the name of playing catch-up with Lyft and other competitors — and desperately trying to curry favor with the same-sex marriage crowd in the most superficial and tone-deaf way possible — Uber is turning a big decision that “lasts a lifetime” into an act on par with ordering a pizza when you’re hungry.